What is a Celebrant led wedding, and should I have one?
Everything you need to know about celebrant-led weddings, and how to decide if it's the right choice for you.
So, you're engaged and now it's the exciting time where you start making plans. But before you do, let’s take a look at one of the most overlooked decisions you can make about your big day...
Just who is going to marry you?
What is a celebrant led wedding?
When picturing your big day growing up, what did you imagine? A dreamy beach wedding with blue skies and sunshine? An enchanted forest, carpeted with bluebells? A wide open space with a stream running through and wildflowers galore? Maybe a circus? Was it a sentimental wedding in your back garden? Perhaps it was on a boat? Or maybe the very spot you first set eyes on your soulmate?
If you’ve ever dreamt of a wedding like one of these, or perhaps something that’s just a little less conventional, you’re probably dreaming about a celebrant-led wedding.
Why should we choose a celebrant for our wedding?
What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think about a wedding ceremony that you have attended as a guest? Maybe it’s the long, and somewhat boring church service that is full of religious verses and hymns, and is not at all personal. Or is it the superfast registry office ceremony where everything seems to be over and done with before you sit down.
Is it just the thing that is done out of necessity before the party starts?
This is not usually the fault of the bride and groom, as with both religious, and civil weddings, there are a long list of rules and restrictions. Both offer a pretty standard script, with limited choice of songs and readings, that mean that all of the things that make a wedding special, memorable and personal to that couple, cannot happen. Your ceremony has to take place in either a licenced venue, or a place of worship.
Whatever your thoughts are, I am sure we can all agree, at some point we have all been to a wedding where we have been completely underwhelmed, and by the end of the day, can’t really remember much of what happened.
Unless you attend church on a regular basis, you might not know the minister, and with a registrar, you don’t meet them until around 30 minutes before the service, that does not give them time to get to know you.
However when you book a celebrant for your wedding, none of this matters.
From the minute you choose your celebrant, your relationship starts. You will get to know each other and become friends. They will get to know what makes you tick, what’s important to you, what gets you excited…. All of the things that mean they can write you a truly bespoke wedding ceremony that represents who you are as a couple fully. The rule books go out of the window, and almost anything is possible. The spot where you want to get married is not licensed? No bother. You want to get married at dawn, twilight, midnight? Celebrants don’t mind that your service is not in office hours.
Do you want to include children, step children or others in your service? Do a sand blending ceremony? Light a unity candle, have handfasting, jump the broom, or anything else that you can think of that makes your ceremony yours, something that truly represents you, and that people will remember forever…. Then let's do it.
What different options do we have for a celebrant led wedding?
Choices, choices, choices… where do we start?
So, with no real restrictions in place with a celebrant ceremony and no rulebook to follow, it sounds incredibly flexible, right? Well yes, it really is. When a couple or family chooses a celebrant you are choosing the freedom to be creative, where really anything goes. Your ceremony can be held in your garden, a forest, beach, any location (with the landowners permission) that is meaningful to you. You can truly personalise your ceremony, including music, poetry, readings, including friends, family, pets. Is a themed wedding your thing? Then let's create a wedding full of theatrics.
Be it a simple service, formal, romantic and sentimental, or all out fun, there are so many more options available to you when choosing to have a celebrant led wedding.
This amount of freedom is a great thing, but it can also be a little bit overwhelming sometimes, and this is why being able to build a relationship with your celebrant is important. Having someone who can hold your hand and lead you through the unlimited amount of options, suggesting elements that they know will suit you because they know you, help you to create personalised vows, the list of support you will receive is endless.
Are there any restrictions, or anything couples must consider before choosing a celebrant led wedding?
If you feel after reading this that a celebrant-led wedding Is perfect for you, then it is important you check their legal status within your country/area. In England and Wales celebrant-led ceremonies are not currently recognised as a legally binding marriage ceremony, however in Scotland they are. Don’t let the legality aspect put you off though, it just means there’s an extra step to consider.
As a Celebrant (in England) is unable to perform a legal marriage this must be done separately with a Registrar. In order to keep it simple couples often choose to perform a statutory marriage (also known as a 2+2 marriage). This is a non-ceremonial signing of the legal paperwork with the couple and their two witnesses present only. These marriages are performed mid-week at your local registry office and still require a notice of marriage a month before the appointment. It means that you can keep all of the personal stuff, and even the exchanging of rings for your celebrant led wedding in front of all of your family and friends.
What is Humanism, and what is the difference between a humanist, and a celebrant?
According to the Humanist Society, Humanists are people who shape their own lives in the here and now, because we believe it’s the only life we have. We make sense of the world, through logic, reason and evidence, and always seek to treat those around us with warmth, understanding and respect. A humanist wedding celebrant will be a member of Humanists UK and have been trained with and is accredited by them.
So, what differences does this create between weddings? For some couples though they may not be religious, they may wish to add an aspect of religion in their service, a small prayer, a reading, or even a piece of music that may have some religious connotations. A celebrant can bridge that gap between the Humanist totally non-religious service, and a service that is held in a place of worship.
What tips or advice do you have for couples considering choosing a celebrant for their wedding?
As with all wedding suppliers, choosing your dream team is a vital part of planning, and choosing such a personal thing as a celebrant is definitely something worth taking your time over!
Just like choosing your dress, the fit has to be perfect. It needs to be comfortable, and feel just right. Start off by having a look at websites, social media and testimonials, you will probably already have a pretty good idea from these if they are your kind of person. Get in tough and ask for a meeting, most celebrants will be more than happy to meet online or face to face for an initial no obligation chat, and it’s during this in this meeting you should get a good idea of their personality and way of working so you can be confident that they are the right person for you. After you have met a few different celebrants just go with your gut instinct. They may not be the celebrant with the most experience or the one whose website you preferred but you will usually have a feeling who you would like to be part of your big day, trust that feeling!”
“Find out about their values-do they align with yours? Personally, I am an anti-racist, LGBTQ+ and neuro diverse embracing celebrant which basically means I love everyone and embrace difference.”
How far in advance should couples choose, and begin working with their celebrant?
Ask around, do you know anyone who has had a celebrant led wedding? Recommendations are always a great way to start.
Lots of celebrants have their own websites, and lots are listed on sites such as Hitched, Bridebook, Rock My Wedding, Add to Events, the wedding directory, UKbride and so on...there are a whole list of supplier sites where you can look around, and find a celebrant that covers your area. If you find a celebrant that is not in your area, don’t be afraid to ask if they are happy to travel. Most of us love an adventure.
Visit wedding fairs, quite often you will find the smiling face of a wedding celebrant who is just dying to tell you exactly how they can make your day extra special. Have a chat, see what they can offer you, take note of how they make you feel. And of course, at a wedding fair there is usually cake!
If you would like to find out more about my services, information can be found on my website.
It is easy to check my availability, just fill in the contact form on my website, or email me at contact@rachelhughescelebrant.com and we can have a no obligation chat about your vision for your special day.
I am currently booking dates in 2024 and 2025, but I do still have some availability for 2023.
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